14 1 / 2012
Truth is…
…if she weren’t related to him, I’d give her a piece of my mind.
…if he were here, things would be different.
…despite the bad juju coming from the 15 & Summit, I’m happy with our situation.
…I miss him and his siblings like crazy. Just not his parents.
07 1 / 2012
Fight For It.
A week after he ended things, he decided that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. And I agreed with him 100%.
It’s not every day that you experience a love like this. A love that makes you feel whole. A love that gives you hope and believes in you when you don’t. A love that feels like it’s right next to you, when it’s actually 1,923 miles away. That’s not something you give up without a fight. And that’s what I intend to do… Fight with every ounce of my being for the one thing that feels right.
We talked. We laughed. We cried. We laughed until we cried. We eventually decided that we are miserable without each other, and we were going to give us another chance. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m never the girl to get back with someone after a break up. But this time… This time, I felt like I owed it to myself, to him, and to us. I love him, and I always will, no matter what happens from here on out. It’s stupid to give up on something that you know will work with the right amount of give and take, and the right amount of yes and no. We love each other, and I honestly believe he’s it for me. I’ve dated enough guys to know that Kyle is, without a doubt, the one I’m meant to share my life with.
We fight and we bicker and we argue, but at the end of the day, we’re still hopelessly in love with each other. We bring out the best in each other. We support each other despite the odds. We believe that we can make it through anything, as long as we do it together. Love knows no distance. He makes me want to be a better person, not only for him, but for myself and the world. He gives me the desire to want to leave my mark on the world, no matter how hard it’s gonna be. And that, my friends, is something worth fighting for.
30 12 / 2011
The Single Life.
Kyle ended things the day after Christmas. It hurt like hell, and it still does, but somehow it hurts a little less every day. He said he’s not ready for a relationship, and he needs to focus on tech school. Both of those reasons are valid enough for me to say that I’m okay with it. And by okay, I mean utterly broken.
He was the first guy I ever loved with my whole heart, unconditionally, and through good times & bad. I thought he’d be the one I spend the rest of my life with. I’m sad that it ended, but I’m grateful that it happened. The 8 1/2 months I spent with Kyle were the most amazing 8 1/2 months of my life. He taught me more than I can even say, and his love made me a better person. I’m appreciative of him letting me teach him how to love someone, and how to become a better man. I don’t hate him for hurting me, and neither should anyone else. That decision was probably the hardest one he’s ever had to make. And for that, I commend him. Because in all honesty, I’d rather him end things with me than to live a lie. I will admit that I didn’t see the break up coming, but I can’t focus on the negative aspects of something so wonderful & perfect because there was nothing negative about it.
It’s been a few days, and I still haven’t adjusted to the single life. I have to consciously remind myself every day that I’m not his girlfriend anymore. It sucks, but it’s life. I love him, and I probably always will. It’s just the way life goes, I guess. I’m just glad we don’t hate each other the way some couples do after a break up.
I don’t know if I want a rebound guy. It seems too messy & frustrating. Too complicated right now. All I know is that the next time I date a guy, it’s going to be a REALLY long time before I let my guard down. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle another break up like this one. It might actually kill me next time. And I’m too young & selfish to die.
09 11 / 2011
The lane line attacked me at practice on Monday morning. :(
SO, I MacGyver’d this lovely splint out of an index card & Band-Aids. haha
Yes, I’m resourceful, and YES, it STILL friggin’ hurts! :(
I want my mommy.
09 11 / 2011
25 days.
AND A WAKE UP!! :D
You have no idea how excited I am right now. Less than 25 days, actually.
I miss him like crazy.
My baby’s gonna be an Airman for the USAF in 25 days.
25. 25. 25. 25. 25. 25.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! :D
30 10 / 2011
I have THE BEST boyfriend in ALL the friggin’ land. He called me today & I IMMEDIATELY started crying! haha It was SO incredible to hear his voice for the first time in 29 days (not that I’m counting or anything). He sounds really good, and said he’s having a good time. He MIGHT get to come home for Christmas… and I swear if he does, I won’t ask for a damn thing for my birthday and Christmas.
That phone call makes EVERYTHING I’ve felt in the past 31 days worth it. I’ll be lonely for months if it means I get to keep him for life.
33 days & a wake up. :D
25 10 / 2011
Happy heart.
Ultimately, that’s what I have. Yes, I can’t help but flirt with one of the guys on the swim team because we have a history, and he’s here. I’ll never act on it because I know how great it is with Kyle, and what Kyle and I have is one-of-a-kind.
He would never leave me to get back with his ex-girlfriend. He loves me more than I could have ever dreamed of someone loving me. (I’m not the easiest person to love.)
As much as I get lonely, it’s worth it because I know that without a doubt, he is THE ONE for me. I can feel it in my heart and my soul. There is not another man on this planet that can make me feel the way he does with a simple smile. His dimple shows when he smiles — it drives me INSANE. I love looking at pictures of us, especially now that he’s gone, because it makes my heart smile. HE makes my heart smile.
There are times when I miss the other guy, but I know that I love Kyle more than anything else. I would die for that man of mine. He’s the best thing to happen to me, besides the birth of my godson. Kyle is my everything. He makes me want to be a better person, and make a difference in the world. He makes me want to succeed, not only for the benefit of our relationship, but for myself. He brings out the best in me, and without realizing it, he helps me to become a better version of myself every single day. I love him more than I ever thought I could love another person. He brings joy and love into my life, more than I knew existed between two people. I can’t help but smile every time I think about him.
“Do you remember when
I told you this that night,
That if you’re by my side
When everyday begins
I’ll fall for you again
I made a promise when
I told you this that night
I’ll be fine
Cause when I die, then I die loving you
It’s alright, I’ll be fine
When I die, then I die loving you”
With a happy, happy heart.
23 10 / 2011
Adele.
WHY is her voice so addictive?! I’m sitting here listening to Pandora WISHING one of her songs will come on! haha
That is all.
22 10 / 2011
This is Halloween
Yeah… I quoted “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. I’m a boss like that.
Tonight will be the first time I’m going out without Kyle. Not going to lie, it feels weird to even plan these things without him being my +1. However, I’m really excited because I NEED a night out to be a normal 22 year old college student. I’m happy that I’m not spending another night at home doing homework or studying.
With that said, I have THE BEST Minnie Mouse costume ever. :) haha PLUS, I’ve got a kick ass new hair-do to go along with my awesome costume.
All I have to say is…
“It’s about to go down.”
:)
